Jul 12, 2015

that one time i quit all social media...

toward the end of 2014, i started missing real, genuine human interaction. you know, like in the 90’s when you were hanging out with someone and the only real distraction from your conversations was the sound of your favorite boys II men jam coming on the radio or an occasional beeper going off.

i missed the eye contact exchanged when out to eat with a friend you hadn’t seen in forever. when their eyes weren’t constantly wandering over to their phone on the table while you were talking. i missed the creativity i felt before houzz or pinterest, and having to come up with things to photograph or write about or ways to decorate my home on my own. i missed holidays when i would look around the room and not everyone had their eyes glued to their phone, endlessly scrolling to see what others were doing and saying instead of living in the moment. when family members were actually intently watching the children laughing and playing or were sitting around the dining table talking about old times. i missed looking up recipes in physical recipe books and i longed for my old paper day planner calendar with the multicolored ink pens. i missed having to stop and think about who the hell that one actor is that was in that one movie i saw one time with that one actress without quickly pulling up IMDB. and those giant paper maps that you can so easily open up while driving and find where that new italian restaurant is that got 5 stars. okay. i'm lying on those last two.

i missed my own thoughts. the times when i was “bored” and had to sit and daydream or read a paperback or call up a friend or relative i hadn’t spoken to in a while. as i rang in 2015, like many, i got to thinking about things i would like to change in my life. that's when i decided to quit social media. cold turkey.

now, you have to know that i didn’t find social media to be totally evil. in fact, the basis of my entire photography business was started with and thrived through social media and i am forever grateful for the opportunities that came along with that. i was more feeling like i needed a break from our new “culture” and needed to find my own kind of healthy relationship with it. because i had already decided to take a break from my business for a while, it seemed like the perfect opportunity.

as i mentioned in my previous blog post, i've realized i’m apparently kind of an EXTREME, (okay, let’s just call me passionate?) person. not only did i get off of social media, i temporarily deactivated my facebook account and removed all social media apps from my phone. i felt like it was the only way to really get off the sauce.

the first week was eye opening. every time i had a second of down time, my first instinct was to pick up my phone and scroll something. i caught myself reaching for my phone dozens of times those first few days. that’s when i really realized the unhealthy relationship i had with my phone. it felt weird to take a photo that i loved or experience something great and not share it. dumb, right? i didn’t know what my friends and family were doing all the time and i had several friends text me telling me they missed me on social media and wanted to get together. it was almost like old times when you had to really interact with humans instead of just “liking” those pics your bff posted from their fabulous vacay on facebook. i mean, what sets your relationship with your best friends apart from what they have with strangers online if you are just seeing the same posted content of their life experiences and rarely actually hanging out or speaking?

instagram was the hardest for me to let go of. i love photography. obviously. but, really i loved capturing moments and having that documentation of mine and my children’s daily lives. i loved seeing the way others captured what could otherwise be mundane moments and being a voyeur of such in other creative’s lives. some of my most treasured possessions are the  “our life in 201x...” albums of all of our instagram photos from each year. i found that because i wasn’t posting on instagram, i pretty much stopped taking photos altogether.

i guess because i enjoy a good challenge, for a while i found myself really proud of myself for being more present in moments and going from scrolling so often to being somewhat content with never doing it at all. but. i missed photographing my life. i missed my creative outlet. it seemed like every time i spoke with someone they were referencing what they posted or saw on some aspect of social media. i missed reading blogs and sharing my writing. i missed seeing photos of my friend’s children. i missed knowing what was going on in the news or pop culture or seeing posts about new good food around austin. all of the things i had previously convinced myself were not important and were distracting me from living life. i missed them.

and then i realized... all of those things are not evil. social media isn’t the reason i love writing or reading blogs. it’s not the reason i love photography or seeing other people’s creations. i’ve been into pop culture for as long as i can remember and have always loved being in-the-know about happenings around my city. social media didn’t change me. in some ways it helped my interests thrive. the world has become social media obsessed and that’s okay. as one of my most disliked expressions goes- “it is what it is". i can't fight it but i can make sure that my phone doesn't interfere with being present in mine and my children's lives and teach them appropriate phone manners.

my 2 month break from facebook and blogs, and my 6 month break from instagram broke my habit of scrolling and helped me find my own healthy balance. first thing i did when reconnecting was turn off all of my notifications from my apps and emails. imagine- only looking at your apps and emails when you feel like it, rather than every few minutes when your phone tells you to. i’m not a slave to you, little red balloon!

for the past few months i’ve really been enjoying reading and posting and creating again. i’m not worrying about what others think of my posts because it is my creative outlet and no one has to follow me. and as for phone etiquette, i realize that i can’t change other’s actions and i can’t control their interest in having a phone-free conversation or holiday and i’m sure that will always aggravate me to a certain extent. however, i can control my own behavior and i feel like my friends and family that take time out of their lives for me deserve my total undivided... what was i saying?... attention.... oh! hey. wait! don’t move! let me take a pic of that real quick...


Jul 7, 2015

me.

well, it has been over a YEAR since i last blogged. a lot of changes have occurred in the time that i haven’t been writing. our baby boy was born, i temporarily(?) retired from the photography biz, i found a love for working out and nutrition and lost 55 pounds of baby weight, my husband started a political campaign, i quit social media for a few months and LOTS more. i’ve been itching to get back into writing but just like with anything else, once i get out of practice it’s hard for me to start back up! so to assist me in dusting off my keyboard and getting the bloggin’ juices flowing again, i’m going to write a few facts about myself...

my photography clients and social-media-only friends know me as ‘holly B.’. my middle name is beth and my grandma always calls me holly B. i had a lot of other nicknames growing up but ‘bubble butt’ photography didn’t have as good of a ring to it... 

my husband and i have been together for over 14 years, married for seven of those years. he’s a police sergeant and politician. when i met him, he was on the SWAT team and i only knew him as “Rios”. we were pretty much opposites in personalities and interests, but somehow have grown to be more of the same throughout the years. 

being a travis county sheriff officer’s wife is a big part of my identity. i also grew up as a daughter of both a travis county sheriff’s employee and officer so it’s all i’ve ever known. it’s a culture in and of itself... a lifestyle, an extended family, a unique bond. something i’m super proud to be a part of.

i’m a stay-at-home mom to two children- a four year old daughter and a one year old son. they already display so many similarities to our personalities- she’s goofy and high maintenance and he’s completely chill and laid back. 

my mom is my bff. we talk a dozen times a day. 

my husband and i are both native austinites and i’m one of those annoying proud-to-be-from-austin enthusiasts. 

i consider myself pretty self aware but somehow only recently realized what an extremist i am. i have two speeds- i’m either obsessively all in or all out... when it comes to organization, fitness, nutrition, relationships, business, and even social media, (and blogging, obviously). i’ve decided to look at it as a positive thing because i never really half-ass anything. ;)

sweets are my enemy. i don’t know how to eat just a bite of something with sugar- i will lick a plate completely clean if it’s in front of me even if it's not a sweet that i really love, all the while aware of the impending sick feeling i will have approximately 5 minutes after consumption. 

i’m a music enthusiast and i love all genres. well, not country music with the exception of some old stuff like george strait and willie nelson. i’ve been obsessed with steven tyler and aerosmith since i went to their concert at age 14 and blacked out in the front row from the august heat. i’ve seen them countless times in concert and i get chills seeing him on stage every. single. time. i love classic rock, 90’s alternative and could surprise some people as to how much hip hop and rap i know (and can dance to- WHAT?!).

i’m the only democrat in my family. 

i'm a pop culture enthusiast and love reading or watching biographies of musicians or celebrities.

i’m super sentimental, especially when it comes to my family and my own childhood.

a big part of my childhood i lived in the country. i frequented rodeos, rode horses and could dance a mean cotton-eyed-joe. i never felt like i quite fit into that culture and have always identified as a city girl. 

i love Jesus but i cuss a little. 

i’m really passionate about diversity. i grew up going to a lot of different schools and have been around people of all colors and all walks of life. differences and acceptance are one of the most important things i want my children to learn. 

sociology classes were always my favorite in college- but for some reason i chose a criminal justice degree and ended up a probation officer for 3 years. i never felt like i was in the right job and craved a more creative career. 

i wanted to be a business owner when i was a little girl i was always filling out forms, dreaming up ideas and making up businesses. i once had a puff paint shirt business with a friend in middle school, complete with a cash register and invoices. 

nothing is more of a turn off to me than a person who acts superior to others.

i have a form of OCD in where i constantly count letters in the words i hear or read... most of the time i don’t even realize i’m doing it. i think this is why i kick ass when watching wheel of fortune.

i have a big fat crush on both andy cohen and jeff lewis. 

speaking of Bravo tv, i’m a real housewives super fan.

sometimes i hang out with my photographer friends and pose in parking garages. ;)